OMGOSHbEE

21. iHate Everybody.

Anonymous asked: What's the weirdest thing someone has told you they masturbated with?

kingjaffejoffer:

promisesinthedark:

kingjaffejoffer:

From women?

Vacuum cleaner handle
Screwdriver
Curling irons
Rat tail combs
Beef hot dogs
Washing machines
Mother’s vibrator
Candles

The most popular answer are pillows. I’ve always wondered how you can grind your bare pussy on a pillow and get it all wet and creamy and then sleep on the bitch afterward. Don’t you have caked up pussy secretions that get all crusty?

I couldn’t put my head on a pillow after jzzing on it

It’s defiled after that. 

"I couldn’t put my head on a pillow after jizzing on it"

lmfaoo. 

Different pillows for different uses. 

So what you saying is you have a special masturbation pillow. 

Do you have that pillow on your bed with the other pillows or do you store it somewhere else.

Just sitting in the corner smelling like pussy. 

I wonder if the other pillows tease it.

"Gary sitting over there looking depressed with pussy crust on his forehead"

**other pillows simultaneously erupt into laughter**

Lmfao I love tumblr

geejayeff:

aaajmachine:

I know you don’t like to talk, but you gotta do it for her.

Yadriel & Maria appreciation post ✿◕‿◕✿

HE SAID MORE THAN HE DID ALL SEASON. I THOUGHT HE DIDN’T CARE. I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST BEING NICE AND LETTING HIS BABY MAMA SEE THE BABY THAT HE PROBABLY DIDN’T REALLY WANT AND BARELY LOOKED AFTER BUT I WAS FUCKING WRONG. I WAS WRONG ABOUT HIM. HE’S JUST QUIET. THE DUDE IS STOIC AS FUCK AND HE FUCKING LOVES MARIA AND HE LOVES THAT BABY AND IT’S FUCKING BEAUTIFUL THE WAY HE GUSHES AND TALKS TO HER LIKE MARIA ASKED HIM TO DO BECAUSE HE WANTS HER TO GROW UP SMART AND LOVED.

But also look at how cute the baby is dressed in each visit. Who did that? Daddy did. But that’s exactly the kind of visual cue that gets lost when he’s getting judged for his bald head, tattoos and stoic (thuggish?) demeanor.

(Source: jamescookjr, via somepeoplethinkitswrong)

sassy-gay-justice:

witchlingfumbles:

allthingshyper:

shadowstep-of-bast:

hate-my-human:

secretcallgirl:

kokilax:

randomizeyourmind:

Rape has become endemic in South Africa, so a medical technician named Sonette Ehlers developed a product that immediately gathered national attention there. Ehlers had never forgotten a rape victim telling her forlornly, “If only I had teeth down there.”
Some time afterward, a man came into the hospital where Ehlers works in excruciating pain because his penis was stuck in his pants zipper.
Ehlers merged those images and came up with a product she called Rapex. It resembles a tube, with barbs inside. The woman inserts it like a tampon, with an applicator, and any man who tries to rape the woman impales himself on the barbs and must go to an emergency room to have the Rapex removed.
When critics complained that it was a medieval punishment, Ehlers replied tersely, “A medieval device for a medieval deed.” 
- Half the Sky, Nicholas Kristof

REBLOGGING THIS. x1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

A medieval device for a medieval deed - yes.

This is perfect

BLESS THIS PERSON

I BOW TO THIS INTENTION

Can we talk about how beautifully this turns rape culture on its head? Instead of “If they weren’t dressed like that they wouldn’t have been raped” THIS IS LITERALLY “IF THEY HADN’T TRIED TO RAPE SOMEONE THEY  WOULDN’T HAVE SPIKES IN THEIR DICK”*

That bold bit~

sassy-gay-justice:

witchlingfumbles:

allthingshyper:

shadowstep-of-bast:

hate-my-human:

secretcallgirl:

kokilax:

randomizeyourmind:

Rape has become endemic in South Africa, so a medical technician named Sonette Ehlers developed a product that immediately gathered national attention there. Ehlers had never forgotten a rape victim telling her forlornly, “If only I had teeth down there.

Some time afterward, a man came into the hospital where Ehlers works in excruciating pain because his penis was stuck in his pants zipper.

Ehlers merged those images and came up with a product she called Rapex. It resembles a tube, with barbs inside. The woman inserts it like a tampon, with an applicator, and any man who tries to rape the woman impales himself on the barbs and must go to an emergency room to have the Rapex removed.

When critics complained that it was a medieval punishment, Ehlers replied tersely, “A medieval device for a medieval deed.” 

- Half the Sky, Nicholas Kristof

REBLOGGING THIS. x1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

A medieval device for a medieval deed - yes.

This is perfect

BLESS THIS PERSON

I BOW TO THIS INTENTION

Can we talk about how beautifully this turns rape culture on its head? Instead of “If they weren’t dressed like that they wouldn’t have been raped” THIS IS LITERALLY “IF THEY HADN’T TRIED TO RAPE SOMEONE THEY  WOULDN’T HAVE SPIKES IN THEIR DICK”*

That bold bit~

(via fuckyeahrochelle)